2023 in Review

Looking back on an eventful O'Malley-Pearson year

It’s been an eventful year in the O’Malley-Pearson household. To recognize that, we decided to work together on a year-in-review newsletter featuring 23 of our “bests” from 2023. To make sure there was no copying, Emory (who typed up this newsletter) wrote his answers first, then had Zoe provide their answers without looking at what he’d said. So, you can believe us when we say these are our most honest and uninfluenced opinions about the past year.

I (Emory) think I speak for both of us when I say this year had some of our most beautiful moments together and some of our deepest struggles. I think our relationship is richer than ever because of it, and I’m so incredibly honored to have spent the year with Zoe by my side. I truly believe that I have the best partner in the world (everyone else in a relationship can suck it!), and I’m looking forward—albeit with a healthy air of caution—to 2024.

Without further ado, here’s 2023 in review!

CATEGORY IS… MEDIA

FAVORITE MOVIE

E: It’s a Wonderful Life

This one is my favorite in large part because of the experience of seeing it. Zoe and I had just gotten back from visiting my family for Thanksgiving, and we donned our Christmas sweaters and headed to our local historic theatre. I even had movie theater popcorn! A rare commodity, since Zoe is allergic to corn and can’t have it. I also loved it because I knew Zoe loves it. Plus, it was surprisingly anticapitalist and emphasized the importance of building a community of care!

Z: Barbie

Even if the whole Barbie movie was just the “I’m Just Ken” musical number, it would be my favorite movie. I think Ryan Gosling gave a dazzling performance, and all the Barbies were phenomenal. Plus, I saw it with Emory on my birthday in a theater—so, that one wins.

Honorable Mention: Everything Everywhere All At Once—the only reason this doesn’t get the top spot is because I actually watched it at the end of 2022.

Image Description: Emory and Zoe and Ken and Allan from Barbie for Halloween.

FAVORITE TV SERIES

E: Succession

The end of an era! I wish I could reexperience watching Succession for the first time. The show, I’ll admit, is indulgent of its real audience—the critics. But the fact that it could be a perfectly made-for-awards series and also gain a fandom of teenage girls is fascinating to me. Kieran Culkin, Sarah Snook, and Jeremy Strong gave phenomenal performances. And no other show had such fascinating on-set personalities! I do think the end of Succession might mark the end of prestige television (at least as we know it); I’m curious to see what’s ahead.

Z: Succession (but just the fourth season)

This is the TV series that stuck with me the longest, even though the only season I’ve seen all the way through is the fourth and final season. Kendall is a rat bastard, and I love him. The scene where Logan dies is absolutely heartbreaking. The one scene where the siblings are “getting along” (used loosely) at their Mom’s house is the most accurate depiction of sibling relationships I’ve ever seen.

FAVORITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER

E: Jude (from A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara)

I feel an intense kinship with Jude, which is difficult to admit in part because of how difficult his life is and how much I wish I could convince him to believe kinder things about himself. It’s rare to read a book and feel both deeply connected to a character and deeply convinced that somewhere out there, he is real. Yanagihara achieves this feat by drawing Jude with such incredible tenderness. Every character feels full and rich in A Little Life, but I feel a special fondness for Jude more than any other. There are so many tied for a close second! But Jude is number one.

Z: Jude (from A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara)

He’s such a good man, and I want him to know that he’s loved, but he doesn’t know! But he tries so hard to be good anyway, and I think that’s nice. I think, despite the way critics talk about his character, bad stuff happens to people—and there’s no limit to how much bad stuff happens to a person. I think showing someone who has gone through as much as he went through and still finds love and family is important, even if it’s not pretty. There’s so much else I could say about Jude, but I don’t want to cry.

Honorable Mention: Willem from A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. This was a really tough call, but I think I love Jude just ever so slightly more.

FAVORITE SONG

E: “Garden Song” by Phoebe Bridgers

This is my favorite song to sing, even though Phoebe Bridgers’s voice is decidedly not in my vocal range. I think the lyrics are romantic in their own way—there’s a sense of hopefulness and promise for the future that feels especially meaningful.

Honorable Mention: “Not Strong Enough” by boygenius, which was my top song of 2023 according to Spotify Wrapped.

Z: “$20” by boygenius

I listened to every song on the album repeatedly and almost equally, but I think “$20” is the one I enjoyed listening to the most. It never got old! All the vocals in it are so strong and the driving guitar line is one of the best I’ve ever heard.

FAVORITE ALBUM

E: the record by boygenius

Zoe and I talk a lot about queer-platonic love—the mysterious gray area between friendship and romance that we occupied for so long and that we find in other relationships. I don’t know any better representation of that than boygenius. Their commitment to one another and their friendships—even (or especially?) when they’re difficult—is captured beautifully on the record. Musically, I think it’s a beautiful merging of Americana, folk, indie, and alternative. Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy Dacus, and Julien Baker complement one another so well, rounding out their harmonies with different skills regarding singing, playing instruments, lyricism, and even stage presence.

Z: the record by boygenius

It was exactly as good live as it was on the album. There wasn’t a bad song on it and everything flowed well, which is a rare thing for an album. It didn’t feel like any song was on it just to fill space.

Image Description: A photograph of Julien performing at the boygenius concert.

FAVORITE POEM

E: “Book of Memory” by Qwo-Li Driskill

Driskill’s dedication for the poem sets the tone well: “for all victims of hate crimes, and for those of us who survive.” I think the blurred line between victim and survivor when it comes to hate crimes is especially important to think about in political times that center large-scale attacks on minority groups and argue that, in being impersonal, they are not hate crimes. There is also space in “for those of us who survive” to accommodate individuals who are not victims of hate crimes, but who have lost someone who was. If you’re struggling with the pain of this world that can be so cruel, this poem is a balm. I want to share a small portion that means so much to me:

Here
before this splintered destruction
we gently open earth
gather the pieces left
to quilt a new story

—Qwo-Li Driskill

Z: “I’m Trying” by adrienne maree brown

I think I’ve come back to it more than any other poem this year, and because it’s a very long poem, something new jumps out to me every time I return to it. It’s taken on different meanings to me over the year, and I’ve found it to be very grounding.

FAVORITE BOOK

E: Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

I love video games, and I love literary fiction, so this was a perfect fit for me. I admired how rich the world of the story was—including the worlds within that world created in the video games. I felt a strong affection for all of the characters, even when I disagreed with their choices. And it ended up being a solid book to recommend to the emotionally reluctant cis men in my life.

Z: A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

Every time I think about A Little Life, I tear up a little. We spent probably thirty hours reading that book, so it was a lot of time spent with the characters, and I felt like every one of them really did have their own little life. So every time they were sad, I was sad. And every time they had a happy moment, I was happy. I enjoyed Emory reading it aloud to me because I think he’s really good at reading aloud; not only did I enjoy the book, but I enjoyed all the time we spent together reading it.

Honorable Mentions: All This Could Be Different by Sarah Thankam Matthews, which edged out Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi in the eleventh hour. I really liked All This Could Be Different because the looming threat of a recession made post-2008 media really appealing to me. I like when there’s a main character who I don’t particularly think I would get along with in real life who a writer can still make me feel for. It felt like Sally Rooney for an American context, and I like Sally Rooney, and I’m an American, so it worked out in my favor. Before the Coffee Gets Cold was my second-favorite up until December. I was not particularly keen on radical acceptance—I read this book before I learned about it though, and once I learned what it was, thinking of it through the lens of the book made it easier. The stories show that acceptance isn’t rolling over and taking it; it’s finding a way to be resilient through change. I also just thought it was fun that the time travel had rules! And they didn’t spend an inordinate amount of time explaining the rules! They were just like, “There’s rules. That’s how it is.” It was a fun way to do the time-travel trope.

CATEGORY IS… OBJECTS

FAVORITE OUTFIT

E: my Ken costume for Halloween

I loved dressing up as Ken for Halloween. I got a sherpa tie-dye “I am Kenough” sweatshirt from Mattel—and before you say it was a waste of money, Zoe and I both wear it all the time beyond Halloween! There’s something nice about a Halloween costume that includes wearing sweatpants. And, of course, a bandana completed the look.

Honorable Mention: the matching pajama set we got with my family for the holidays, with my Marmalade robe that Zoe got me as the final touch.

Z: any long skirt, sweater, boots combo

The summer variation is tank top and sneakers, but that was the 2023 vibe. Leg freedom, arm freedom, you’re basically wearing a blanket—and then you’ve got boots, which are objectively the best boots. Also, a lobster clip is obligatory in every single one of those outfits.

Image Description: Zoe getting their first tattoo, wearing a black tank top, knee-length denim skirt, and brown boots.

FAVORITE CRAFT

E: my autumn quilt

This is very much still a work in progress! But I’ve learned so much, especially with this being the first time I ever used a sewing machine. Zoe very generously taught me everything I needed to know and then some. I enjoy the calm patience of hand quilting, and I’m actually moving through it much quicker than I expected.

Z: our wedding quilt

It was my first big quilt, and I liked doing it with Emory. I liked sewing again for the first time in a really long time and starting to show Emory how to use the sewing machine. It’s the craft gift that keeps on giving—I have so much more hand-quilting to do!

Image Description: Zoe’s block for the Euphoria Quilt Project, made using scraps from Emory’s autumn quilt-in-progress.

FAVORITE MEAL

E: tomato pesto chicken with parmesan-roasted potatoes

This was a meal with shared with our friends J and R before they returned to Brazil, so I remember it fondly in large part because of the company. Zoe cooked the meal to absolute perfection! And one of my favorite things about sharing a meal with friends is hearing them compliment Zoe’s cooking.

Z: creamy chicken gnocchi

This was the year of gnocchi—we had a lot of gnocchi. The oniony, creamy roux with the gnocchi and the chicken is very soul-warming. I think it was a nice transition meal out of summer (we did a lot of sprouts and gnocchi in the summer); it was nice to have a heartier gnocchi dish. And we haven’t done this yet, but I think it would go good with a spring mix and berry salad.

FAVORITE DRINK

E: spiked peppermint hot chocolate

Zoe makes a delicious peppermint hot chocolate: rich cocoa, the sharp sweetness of peppermint (my favorite flavor), and the perfect amount of Irish cream. The holiday season wouldn’t be complete without it!

Honorable Mention: the espresso martini I got at Zoe’s birthday brunch. The waiter made it a double for me—double the espresso, not double the booze! It was sweet and bitter and sharp, and I loved it.

Z: ginger beer and lime Spindrift fizzy water mixed together

It was refreshing, and we drank a lot of it on the back porch while sweating our asses off during the heat waves this summer. It’s sweet and zingy—delectable!

FAVORITE DESSERT

E: mint chocolate chip ice cream

It’ll never not win! I’m nothing if not consistent when it comes to ice cream preferences—or to dessert preferences in general, since my preference is almost always ice cream. Ice cream before bed while watching TikToks with Zoe was a fundamental element of my daily routine.

Z: lemon tart with coconut crust, blueberries, and whipped cream

The only time we ever make it is when we have guests over, so it’s a special treat. That being said, it’s easy to make. It’s smooth and creamy, and it uses coconut and almond flour to make the crust—so it has a sweet and almost earthy taste. The recipe shows a modest amount of whipped cream and blueberries on it, but I love to load mine up with a lot of blueberries and a healthy dollop of whipped cream, which makes it that much better. Great for when lemons and blueberries are in season at the same time.

Image Description: Tieghan Gerard’s Half Baked Harvest Every Day cookbook open to the lemon tart recipe. Zoe has written a personal note under Gerard’s description.

FAVORITE TRINKET

E: my Bluey stuffed animal

I have a lot of stuffed animals, it’s true—and it’s always tough to pick a favorite. But my little plush Bluey makes me so happy to see on my shelf or hold in my hand. When I went to D.C. to protest, I brought Bluey with me, and I was so appreciative of her tiny presence! I also like to think that when I have a kid someday, they’ll hold and love this Bluey plushie, too.

Z: a zine by Dan Nott

I don’t like cops, and I like art that reminds me that they won’t exist forever. It was a very sweet gesture of our friend E to bring it back from the zine fair she attended.

CATEGORY IS… PLACES

FAVORITE STORE

E: Target

Sorry if that makes me mainstream! I enjoy wandering the aisles of Target with Zoe, even when we’re just there to pick up one or two things. I spent my entire childhood moving around, but Target is pretty much always the same—except when they make it two stories, which is horrible—wherever you are. A capitalist balm for feeling isolated and discombobulated.

Z: Lane Lloyd (Coyotesnout)’s Etsy store

They make nice art, and they make it in sticker form—which means I get to carry art everywhere.

Image Description: Two stickers from Coyotesnout on Emory’s laptop.

FAVORITE RESTAURANT

E: Zaxby’s

This might just be because we got into Kentucky for Thanksgiving so late, we were starving, and Zaxby’s was one of the only places open. But that meal, eaten sitting in our rental car in the parking lot, was some of the best chicken I’ve ever had.

Z: Daddio’s Pizza

Not only are the chicken tenders delicious—and massive—but the first time we ordered from them, I couldn’t contain my laughter because the guy sounded so New York and was also so nice. We’ve ordered from them many times since, and they’re always very nice on the phone and always tell me to “grab a pop on the way out, sweetheart” in a way that doesn’t feel threatening or belittling. Sometimes, you just need a big pizza box full of fried food to get you through it. I also just think it’s funny when I have to go pick up pizza, and there’s an SUV loaded to the brim with mozzarella cheese bags on the sidewalk in front.

FAVORITE OUTDOOR SPOT

E: our back balcony

I loved sitting out there in the summers, writing morning pages and having coffee with Zoe. It inspired the title of my newsletter! (A title that’s about to change, I say with wiggling eyebrows.) I love the little birdfeeder we have hanging out there, even if I almost exclusively see sparrows there. So. Many. Sparrows.

Z: the place where we got married

Well, we got married there. And I think it’s fun, every single time we walk past it, to point and say “that’s the spot we got married in” so that Emory will roll his eyes. Every time, it sparks joy, and every time, he seems a little bit more annoyed. (Sometimes, I think he wishes we’d had a destination wedding so he wouldn’t have to hear about the spot where we got married every time we walk past it.)

Image Description: Emory has a buzzcut and is wearing his rainbow glasses and a striped shirt that used to belong to his friend C. He is on the back porch, smiling with his morning pages and coffee on the table in front of him. Zoe’s coffee and notebook are also visible. Behind him, a gingham blanket hangs to block out some sunlight.

FAVORITE INDOOR SPOT

E: the green velvet chair in my office

I love sitting in this chair, which felt like such a sign of success and stability when I bought it (and still does, really). It’s the only piece of furniture Marmalade isn’t allowed on, though it drives her crazy—I just want it to stay nice! The chair is in the corner of my office by the window, which gets nice light (better light when it isn’t winter). And after rearranging the furniture in here, it’s the perfect place to sit and write my morning pages.

Z: the table by the window at Spot Coffee

That’s the place where we most frequently go on dates. And the coffee shop has been the place where I’ve met up with the most new people this year, and I think it’s been nice to form connections here—and to get a little treat with Emory every once in a while.

CATEGORY IS… EXPERIENCES

FAVORITE GATHERING

E: the December meeting of Craft Club

Old friends and new gathered in our apartment for peppermint hot chocolate, cookie decorating, sewing, and conversation. With Christmas music playing in the background, it was a cheery holiday edition of our monthly meetings.

Z: Craft Club (in general)

I look forward to Craft Club every month. I think it’s fun to see the dynamic that each different group of people has as new people join and others can’t make it, and I love the opportunity to see most of our friends here all in one place. I like seeing what kinds of crafts people bring and foods that they like, and I like hearing about what’s going on in their worlds.

FAVORITE THING WE WROTE

E: “Evangola State Park”

Sound unfamiliar? It should—I haven’t shared this one with any of you (yet)! I participated in Transchool, a creative writing workshop for trans young adults, this summer, and “Evangola State Park” is a burning haibun after torrin a. greathouse that I wrote for the workshop. The poem—along with two others that I wrote—will be appearing alongside my Transchool peers and mentors in an anthology of our work. When I have more details to share, I will! Not just so you can read my work, but so you can read all the amazing queer and trans writing that came from the experience.

Z: my morning pages

I think the prompts from The Artist’s Way were interesting, and most of them weren’t things I’d independently write about, so it was a challenge. The longer I write my morning pages, the less it feels like an obligation and the more it feels like a thing I get to do. I feel less critical of my thoughts and my writing because I’m writing every day, and that let’s the good stuff come out.

Image Description: Sailboats—and some people—in the water at Evangola State Park.

FAVORITE RITUAL

E: my morning pages

Yeah, yeah. Julia Cameron got me. But I really do feel more connected to my creative self than ever since starting The Artist’s Way. (No, I haven’t finished it yet, though Zoe has been trying to get me to keep going.) The ritual of lighting a candle and sitting down in my chair with a mug of coffee each morning has become a vital part of how I stay grounded.

Z: changing the garland over our mantle

I’m still getting used to having seasons, so having a physical marker that we get to change as the seasons change or a holiday comes is a nice way to mark it for myself. I think it’s helped me savor each season for what it is and not wish it was something different. In Florida, it was always just “wet and hot” or “hot and dry,” so having actual seasons was nice. And it was our first full year here, so I got to make a lot of the garlands, which was fun.

FAVORITE MEMORY WITH FRIENDS

E: our murder mystery dinner party

Mostly because I was the killer and got away with it! J did have a hunch it was me, but majority rule kept me from the accusation. I was playing a boxer who was getting revenge after his mom was killed in a freak chocolate factory accident. Everyone had fun, we all acted silly, and it was just a great laugh. I do wonder if making the recommended forty quail eggs for dinner would’ve really taken it over the top, though…

Honorable Mention: the first—and only—meeting of our book club. Maybe next year we’ll revive something similar. Who knows? But I loved discussing My Government Means to Kill Me with everyone; it felt important to read and talk about a very queer story, especially now that my friend group is largely cishet.

Z: our murder mystery dinner party

I think it was one of the first big gatherings we hosted at our house. Everyone got really into it—and really creative. It was funny, and we just had a good time.

FAVORITE MEMORY WITH FAMILY

E: meeting our niece

H is such a cute, funny little baby! She started walking on her own the day after we returned home from our visit, which is, frankly, iconic. But even before she started the solo strutting, if she could hold someone’s hands for support, she would zoom. She got us all to applaud for her a lot—a true star of the show, especially when we watched her try Thanksgiving foods. It was great seeing my entire family that trip, of course, but meeting H was such a special moment.

Z: meeting our niece

She’s just so cute! Because I’m the oldest on my side of the family, I don’t have any other nieces, nephews, or niblings, so getting to meet her was really exciting. I’ve missed babies! I think they’re just so nice. And I love a baby that’s a speed demon. Also, meeting her reignited my love of ruffle-butt onesies. H has a lot of personality, and I’m just excited to see her grow into even more of a little person (just like us)!

SECOND FAVORITE MEMORY WITH EACH OTHER

Disclaimer: our wedding was obviously going to be both of our answers, so we made a rule that we had to pick our second favorite memory with each other.

E: Zoe’s birthday weekend

I struggle with agoraphobia, so planning an entire weekend out was scary but also so wonderful when it all went well! We stayed at a nice hotel, had dinner and brunch, walked around downtown, and saw Barbie. I love Marmie, but it was great having a weekend away from her. And it was so nice to celebrate my beloved! The best part of all was just hanging out in the hotel room, talking and cuddling. (But all the going out on the town stuff was good, too.)

Z: going to get Marmalade

After the nightmare that was Timber, I think both of us were feeling very discouraged about our ability to be dog parents. When we went back to shelter and met Marmalade, I think that we both were like, “yeah, this is the dog.” I thought it was so cute to see her and Emory get to know each other. Even though he was nervous about getting a big dog, he was so nice and gentle with Marmalade. He sat with her and pet her on the whole drive back, and I kept looking back and thinking, Oh, that’s my little family. Adding one more being to our house felt like a really important and exciting step for us to take because I knew that we were able to be there for each other, and being able to be there for another being was nice. Starting that together was really exciting. And I thought Emory was very thoughtful about what kinds of toys we should get her, how we needed to take care of her, and how we would train her. Getting to figure all that out together was nice.

Final Notes

We have a bonus category for you, because we couldn’t resist. Here are each of our favorite Marmalade photos!

E: I always joke that I’ll choose an ugly photo of her (those are cute, too), but I think she just looks non-ugly cute in this one.

Image Description: Marmalade on our bed in the summer heat, her mouth open to pant.

Z: She just looks so silly!

Image Description: Marmie on our bedroom rug with her tongue out, one ear stuck sticking up.

A final note from Emory: Postcards from the Porch will be undergoing a rebrand in the new year to better align with the goals I have for my newsletter. So, keep your eyes peeled for the first 2024 newsletter from me—and from Common Room.